Biting Nails
Two golden-agers were discussing their husbands over tea.
"I do wish that my Elmer would stop biting his nails. He
makes me terribly nervous."
"My Billy used to do the same thing," the older woman
replied. "But I broke him of the habit."
"How?"
I hid his teeth!''

Traffic Camera
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
You can't fix stupid.